Swimsuit Issue

Speedo’s new Fastskin3
Super Elite
High Waisted Jammer:
Expensive, but sweet!
The suit’s hydrophobic
(That means it has rabies)
And hugs you so snugly
It might prevent babies.
Repellent to H₂O
(You’re hydroplaning),
It hates the pool more than you do!
Who needs training?
Tighter than body paint,
Faster than shaving,
Three hundred ninety-five dollars.
Start saving!