Jingle’s Perfect Poet? Whoa!
Let’s celebrate with pizza dough!
I haven’t tried this recipe
As yet, but it looks good to me.
I got it from a commenter
On Runner’s World’s site, who’s sure
His version of an easy crust
Is better than the one discussed
Ad nauseum by posters who
Complained the magazine’s had too
Much salt — 12 times too much, in fact —
For which the author was attacked
Mercilessly, though, to be fair
You’d have a lot of crust to spare
If you put in a quarter-cup
Of sodium, then baked it up.
So, here we go. Ingredients:
2 Cups bread flour — that’s ’cause, since
Bread flour has more gluten in it,
You can stretch and pull and thin it
And it won’t rip quite so much;
A subtle but important touch.
3/4ths of a cup of Water —
If you’re starving, make it hotter
So the dough will rise more quickly;
Cooler, if your tummy’s prickly
And you’d rather wait, then bake it.
2 teaspoons of yeast will make it
Rise, though it be slow or hasty.
2 teaspoons of sugar — tasty!
1 teaspoon of salt — no more
(We covered all of that before).
One tablespoon of olive oil
Tops it off — don’t skimp and spoil
Everything by skipping this:
It takes the crust from good to bliss.
Mix the sugar, yeast and water
By themselves — you hadn’t oughter
Add the salt ’til later on;
Let sit until there’s foam upon
The water, then put in the salt
For Ph balance. (Not my fault:
Blame chemistry if you can’t wait,
But take your time, and you’ll do great.)
Next, add 1 cup of flour, then
The olive oil, which will blend
Much better if the flour’s there
To help the oil and water share.
Then, add the second flour cup
And use your hands to mix it up
Once it becomes too heavy for
A mixing spoon to do the chore.
At this point, if it’s sticky, throw
A bit more flour in the dough:
It should be soft and hold its shape,
Not sticky, so your hands escape.
Now, oil a bowl and plop the dough
Inside, and let some oil flow
Across the top, then cover it
With plastic wrap and let it sit
Atop the counter (in the fridge
If you’d prefer to wait a smidge).
The yeast will cause the dough to rise,
And when it’s doubled in its size
(About two hours, give or take),
Get your oven set to bake
At four hundred fifty degrees
(That’s Fs; two hundred thirty Cs)
While you set out a pizza pan
And roll the dough as best you can
Into whatever shape is kneaded
(Get it? Good, I won’t repeat it).
Top it with your favorite stuff,
Then bake it ’til it’s brown enough
To suit your taste — 10 minutes, plus
Or minus, works for most of us.
That’s it! You’re done! This whole adventure
Yields about a 14-incher
(Measuring across the pie),
So says the Runner’s World guy
From whom I copped this recipe.
Come on, let’s try it out and see!
Who’s with me? Dare you place your trust
In Perfect Poet’s Pizza Crust?
If it turns out to be sublime’s
Antithesis, at least it rhymes!
Oh, right: Rhyme Me A Smile, you’re it!
You’re certainly a better fit
For this award than I could be,
So that makes you my nominee!