Author Archives: Michael

About Michael

Silliness is good

Hypothetical Help Wanted

I need someone to walk my dog. She’s cranky if she doesn’t jog And has to hold her number two But what’s a working man to do? She isn’t real, but if she were, My boss would still say No! … Continue reading

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Squirreloquy

I talk to squirrels. They don’t speak to me. I say, “Good morning! What a lovely tail!” As if a cedar room inside their tree Held options: Fuzzy, flat, or bought-on-sale. I tell the squirrels what I’d hope to hear … Continue reading

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Needs Must

If ice cream weren’t We’d have to make it. Since it is, I’ll have to take it.

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Today’s Republican Party

Mr. Gorbachev, Let us help rebuild this wall! Mexico will pay.

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Credit Scarred

Shed no tears for Equifax, A public company that tracks– But doesn’t verify–your credit, Mostly meaning you don’t get it. Having left the door unlocked They’ve naturally been robbed. I’m shocked! If all they’d lost were theirs, that’s fine, But, … Continue reading

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Out Of Seasoning

There’s pumpkin spice on everything Already? Yesterday was spring! Pumpkin spice belongs to fall. Just wait ’til summer’s end, is all.

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Adverse Reaction

Medication makes you mean? Turns your Howzit, brah? obscene? Palm the pill, but don’t refuse it. Next time you’re in traffic, use it!

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