Priorities

If they take a knee
Puerto Rican citizens
Probably will drown

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Wait For It…

Sometimes, if you wait too long,
The only options left are wrong
And tainted with profound regret
And sour second guesses. Yet,
One time in, oh, a hundred-plus,
Procrastination smiles on us
And indecision wins the day.
That makes the 99 okay.

Clearly Better

Cowhide cracks and Velcro frays
But Ziploc bags will last for days!
And when your wallet starts to tear
There’s 27 more right there!
It’s impervious to sweat,
And tears, and blood; if it gets wet
Your paper money’s well-protected,
Plus, your cards won’t be rejected
‘Cause the magnetism’s lacking.
Send those leather wallets packing–
Snack-size baggies beat ’em cold!
Like pets, just toss ’em when they’re old,
There’s always more where those came from.
Put money on a wallet? Dumb!
Sealed plastic bags are where it’s at!
Plus also, when you’re busted flat
And have to beg your buds for beer,
They’ll know you’re broke: Your wallet’s clear!
There’s just one feature that’s beyond ’em:
Ziplocs can’t conceal a condom,
So, if subtlety’s your aim,
You may be less than Glad you came
With plastic sacks and not cowhide.
Important? Really? You decide.