Priorities

If they take a knee
Puerto Rican citizens
Probably will drown

Wait For It…

Sometimes, if you wait too long,
The only options left are wrong
And tainted with profound regret
And sour second guesses. Yet,
One time in, oh, a hundred-plus,
Procrastination smiles on us
And indecision wins the day.
That makes the 99 okay.

We’re There Yet!

There are no shortcuts to Success
But many to Settle for Less.

Clearly Better

Cowhide cracks and Velcro frays
But Ziploc bags will last for days!
And when your wallet starts to tear
There’s 27 more right there!
It’s impervious to sweat,
And tears, and blood; if it gets wet
Your paper money’s well-protected,
Plus, your cards won’t be rejected
‘Cause the magnetism’s lacking.
Send those leather wallets packing–
Snack-size baggies beat ’em cold!
Like pets, just toss ’em when they’re old,
There’s always more where those came from.
Put money on a wallet? Dumb!
Sealed plastic bags are where it’s at!
Plus also, when you’re busted flat
And have to beg your buds for beer,
They’ll know you’re broke: Your wallet’s clear!
There’s just one feature that’s beyond ’em:
Ziplocs can’t conceal a condom,
So, if subtlety’s your aim,
You may be less than Glad you came
With plastic sacks and not cowhide.
Important? Really? You decide.

The Fifth Dentist Said It Was Okay

It’s possible to yawn so wide
Your eyes roll back and fall inside
The void that is your gaping maw
So you can see behind your jaw
To where that Hot Tamale’s stuck
But eyes can’t hold floss picks. Good luck.

Babysplitting

Wind ’em up
Then set ’em down
And let ’em go
To race around,
Smack into walls
And pets and feet
And then collapse.
And here’s what’s sweet
About the deal:
They don’t belong
To you at all!
Folks home? So long!

#TakeAKnee

I respect your right
To respect things I do not
Please reciprocate

Maybe Next Week

“Planning’s overrated”
Says the man who’s never waited
All week long for Saturday
And then just sat the day away

Tomorrow’s Tongue

The words we know are not the only words we need to use,
They’re just the ones that practice makes it likelier we’ll choose.
Our language will be richer with another word or two.
Create! Neologate! Tomorrow’s tongue depends on you.

The High Road

I don’t blame the ducks
There’s no point in being rude
(They know what they did)