Sometimes A Great Nosehorn

Rhinoceroses love my jokes–
I’m in their Top 10 Favorite Blokes!
(The British influence is strong
Amongst* rhinoceri. *Among?)
When conversation turns to me
Their great gray grins are sweet to see.
When angry rhinos stamp and spit
I rarely am the cause of it.
Appreciative though I am
It sometimes puts me in a jam
When each assumes I’ll take his part
In matters of the rhino heart.
They flatter me, but I’m no fool.
Don’t poke your nose in, that’s my rule,
Especially one unadorned
With keratin that’s been enhorned
As odd-toed ungulates’s are.
(I tried it once. I hide the scar.)
I’m not their Cupid, one of them
Benighted rhinoceraphim
Of which the rhino minstrels sing.
I make them laugh, though. That’s my thing.

Going Too

I’m going to work on Phrasal Future Tense.
You’re going to be proud. I’m going to shine.
The animal is going to hop the fence.
The cookie that you’re going to eat is mine.
I’m going to forget this lesson soon.
I’m going to have to learn it all again.
It’s going to the dark side of the moon.
The animal is going to leave the pen.
The cookie on the plate is going stale.
It’s going to be brittle, hard and dry.
The animal’s escape is going to fail.
The animal and I are going to die.
The cookie–mine–is going to taste good.
You’re going to share it with me.
Well, you should.

Important Safety Tip

Dogs and cats should not be thrown
Above one’s head when one’s alone.
Don’t heave your beagle in the air
All by yourself; if no one’s there
Just leave that tabby on the rug.
Pet levitation’s like a drug
On which the warning labels read
Do not take unaccompanied.
With supervision, go to town:
Fling puppies up, let cats rain down.
A partner makes it all okay.
All by your lonesome, though, no way.
When solo, throw eye-high, no higher.
Oh, and maybe douse the fire.
So, two safety tips: Don’t burn;
Don’t throw too high. Too late? You’ll learn.