Turtles And Tortoises

Turtles and tortoises
Everyone thinks
They’re the same
But they’re not
One swims
And one sinks

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“Trumpence.” What a funny word!
I can’t believe I haven’t heard
The noun before. What can it mean?
The context makes it sound obscene
But that may be a product of
The trumpence-sayer’s lack of love
For what they were referring to.
Okay, what say we think it through?
“Pence” recalls a coin so small
That two of them is none at all–
“I couldn’t give a tuppence for
Your insults, sir, so rant no more!”

A “trump” in cards is useful, though.
All other suits are placed below
A trump-suit card despite its being
Worthless by itself…. We’re seeing
Something of a theme, I think.
Trumpence: Something on the brink
Of useless, rarely underrated,
Which is weirdly elevated
To importance through a quirk
Of circumstance. A lucky jerk,
Perhaps, who comes along
Exactly when the timing’s wrong
For everyone except himself?
A can still standing on the shelf
When all your grocery money’s spent
So, desperate, despite the dent,
You pop the top and choke it down?
The cranky Craigslist birthday clown
You hire when the bouncy castle
Pops? I doubt it’s worth the hassle
To’ve defined the word at all.
“Trumpence” means…I can’t recall.

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Opposite Day

Washing dishes, clothes, the cat,
My day’s been filled with tasks like that.
Now my dry utensils hate me.
How my tidy whites berate me
‘Cause I’ve made ’em clean and pretty!
Not my cat, though. Happy kitty!

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Leftovers Pizza

Pizza comes in many forms:
Cheese and treated meats are norms,
Along with vegetables or fish.
It’s truly an eclectic dish.
Mine tonight has mozzarella
On tomato sauce with, well, a
Random stack of stuff I found
Inside the fridge, all spread around
On top: Black olives, wilted spinach,
Piña chunks I didn’t finish
When I sliced it Wednesday night.
It’s prob’ly going to taste all right,
But even if it doesn’t, hey,
It’s pizza! Even bad’s okay!

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Hot Enough For You?

I know it’s not as hot right here
As lots of spots today, that’s clear,
But, since you asked, this wee degree
Of heat is hot enough for me.

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You Can Learn Everything From Cartoons

Waiting for a pie to cool
Is frustrating, but it’s the rule.
Exactly why you might not know, though:
That’s the way to feed a hobo!

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You Can Make About 242 Sonnets With The Leftovers

One thousand haiku
Use one third of fifty-one
Thousand syllables

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