We came three thousand miles in Drive
Without a GPS or phone
To keep our fading skills alive
At wayfinding with maps alone.
Honeymoon Souvenir
Niagara Falls is louder than
A toddler banging on a pan,
But three years since you’re done enjoying
One, the other’s more annoying.
15 Miles (Per Hour)
Driving to Erie
Via US 20 East:
Slower than a barge.
We Need Your Credentials
Gee, Professor Hill,
Gary isn’t anything
Like you made it sound!
Bounding Way Across
The wide Missouri wasn’t, really,
At least where I chose to ford it.
Folk song lyricists are silly,
Though, so Shenandoah’s ignored it.
Well Spotted
A year ago I bought a plant
That was an alcoholic cat.
I’d like to say I’ve learned, but can’t:
It’s rooted to my lap. That’s that.
Antilocapra Americana
The pronghorn’s not an antelope.
We often call it that, but nope,
It’s closest relatives — don’t laugh —
Include okapi and giraffe,
And all Antilocapridae
Have gone extinct except for they,
Like dinosaurs and low-priced gas.
Try not to scowl as they pass
Your gasping car at 50 per,
White bellies and brown backs a blur
Against the dusty hills they’re roaming
Nigh the byways of Wyoming
And adjacent high plains states,
White tails in place of license plates
And bi-pronged horns that rarely beep:
You’ll catch them next time gas is cheap.
How To Keep A Streak Alive
When you’ve forgotten
What you’d planned to write about
Write it anyway
Animal Househusbandry
Grizzly bears appreciate
Your leaving cleaning up till late
And stringing up your food-filled sacks
At bedtime (not before). Free snacks!
Alaska?
When in Idaho
Do as Idahoans do
Which is…I dunno.
