Misery

Misery loves company
It’s fun to bitch and moan
But misery is company
For some who live alone

We never know what’s going on
Behind an epithet
An asshole neighbor’s just a friend
We haven’t tickled yet

If A Manor Of Thine Own

John Donne 2.0:
Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
Check your doorbell cam.

Photo Crop

Cherry blossoms bloom and die
When witnessed by the human eye
We photograph them every year
How did they breed when we weren’t here?

Unexpected Facial Hugs

Those aren’t spider webs
That’s the house embracing me
Welcoming me home

Upset Alert

Chris and Will spread Oscar love
With their live performance of
We Don’t Talk About (Will’s) Jada
(Note to self: Check transcript later)

Downtime

With time to spare and little needing
Being done I care to do,
I tend to spend it napping, reading,
And vice versa, till I’m through
My stack of books and lack of Zzzs,
At which point I might then peruse
The list of tasks still asking, Please,
Complete me? Smiling, I’ll refuse.

Performance Metrics

It’s comforting to know my pay
Is based not on what critics say
They liked, or how my rivals voted,
But on how my apps were coded.
Did they meet their specs? We’re fine.
Film jobs are cool, but I like mine.

Almost Had It

Doing nothing is a skill
I’m going to learn.
Someday.
I will!

Astrological

The sun is round. That’s obvious
To scientific minds because
It gets pulled down by gravity
Like apples are and kites would be
If diamonds weren’t afraid of string,
But why’s it rise? Well, here’s the thing:
Each time the sun goes underground
For us, because the planet’s round
It’s rising someplace farther west
Where foreigners get up and dressed,
And when it sets for them, it’s dawn
Still wester yet…and that goes on
Until it bubbles up like yeast
For us again, but in the east!
It’s down, and then it’s up again.
We’ve seen that pattern, right? It’s when
You’re bouncing something? Like a ball!
And balls are round, you may recall,
Which means, ergo, the sun is, too!
I trust this clears that up for you.

Shell If I Know

There’s a– darn it, what’s the word
For lots of giant tortoise? Herd?
Terropoly? Laconicum?
They’re fairly rare where I come from
So I’ve not had to ask before.
At any rate, they’re at the door
And plan to trample us tonight.
I hope the obit gets it right.