Step Away From The Basket

If you have to ask
Whether Peeps are good for you
You’re not good for you

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Don’t Blame Me

I rarely exhale to prevent CO2
And I redeploy wine corks so cattle can’t fart.
I never use plastic when dollars will do.
Every day is my Earth Day. I’m doing my part.

Robert Mueller’s [REDACTED]

Listen my children and you shall hear
Whether Trump and his minions have prison to fear.
Ere the 18th of April in twenty-nineteen,
Hardly a citizen yet had seen,
E’en redacted, the bombshell report of the year.

He said to his elf, Oh my god…I’m fucked!
Everyone says if you get one of these
Special counsels you’re ruined. Tell Rod to obstruct
Fire Mueller, McGahn. What? You’ll quit? Sessions, jeez,
You were supposed to protect me! The more he lambasted
His lawyers, the more of his bile they tasted,
The more he suborned them, the more they dug in
And the more their departure was less if than when.

[REMAINDER REDACTED]