Poorly have I slept, and brief
The A/C brought no real relief
To upstairs bedroom sheathed in heat
I’ve sweated through my winding sheet
The artery inside my head–
Okay, in front–
Let go and bled
And suddenly the pants I wore
Were less not red
Than just before.
I’m sometimes blind to my own needs
But one is not
A nose that bleeds.
I never thought the day I’d see
When I might miss
But blotting bloodstains from my clothes
Is getting old
So I suppose
A little moisture in the air
To stanch the flow
Is only fair.
I know this may be T.M.I.
But that’s– uh-oh.
I love the sun
Don’t get me wrong
Just not so hot
And not so long
It’s just as nice to be polite
As rudeness is the opposite.
If you should disagree, please write
To tell me why I’m full of it.
To learn from you would be delight!
I wouldn’t cry or pitch a fit.
It wouldn’t bother me a bit!
Please, pop my folly like a zit!
I’ll welcome any brief respite
From dumb. (Did I pronounce that right?)
A plumbing obstruction
Can cause a disruption
In anyone’s schedule
But if there’s a wedge you’ll
If the stuffled-up spot’s
In the bowl where you sit,
Not the hole where you shi–
-ver and quiver and quake
Then decide that the trip
To that seat’s a mistake.
Salamanders eat their kin
That’s why they can’t go home again
If Thomas Wolfe were slick with slime
And not yet dead, he’d write this rhyme
A bad day doesn’t rattle me.
It’s never a surprise, you see.
Each week before my Sunday dinner
I write down which day’s a winner
In the week ahead, and which
Will move on me like Donald’s bitch.
I try to mix it up, to keep
It interesting. I don’t lose sleep
Anticipating what might not
Occur because this plan I’ve got
Ensures that though it might be scary
At the time, it’s temporary.
Nothing bad is here to stay
‘Cause who would plan it out that way?
Well, me, on days I’ve marked as dumb
(Which tend to follow too much rum),
But soon enough we’re back on track
With badness popping off the stack
And making room for joie de vivre.
Bye, now! Time to spike a fever…