Walking To Rio

Somewhere in my town tonight
Are real fast folks who don’t walk right.
Tomorrow they’ll race twenty K
And not once from the earth they’ll stray
From start to finish–one foot touches
Pavement always. It’s as much as
I can do to touch at all!
(I’ve got short legs, although I’m tall,
So sometimes they don’t make it down
To where the planners placed the ground.)
Wag those hips! This Salemite
Will help you dream of rings tonight.

Add A Monkey

Boring meeting?
Listless mime?
Add a monkey.
Party time!

Take your day
From foul to funky–
Ask me how!
(Hint: Add a monkey.)

Pleased to meet you, sir.
What cheer?

The monkey’s here!

Added monkey’s
Not redeeming?
Sir, wake up!
You must be dreaming!

“Like a barrel…”
(Not worth writing)
“…full of monkeys.”
(That’s exciting!)

Lack of monkeys
Makes you sick.
Maxed-out monkeys–
That’s the trick!

Cat made coffee
Cold and chunky?
Needs a mentor:
Add a monkey!

Add a monkey.
Bottom line:
Add a monkey.
You’ll be fine.

Waste Of Fur

My cat’s a total waste of fur.
So why do I put up with her?
She tried to make me coffee, but
She couldn’t keep the grinder shut
And now there’s heaps of coffee grounds
All over! I know how that sounds,
As if I’m mad she made a mess.
If that were all, I’d be much less
Annoyed, but wait, there’s more! The loser
Couldn’t figure how to use her
Trumplike paws to push the pin
To force the French press filter in,
So when she brings the mug upstairs
There’s coffee chunks among the hairs
And teardrops in my morning brew!
At least it’s something I can chew,
Unlike this omelette. What a waste
Of fur this cat is! I’m disgraced.

Dear Satan

B. Bubs, we who know you well,
Your friends and neighbors here in Hades,
Stockholm-Syndromed lads and ladies
Nose-blind to that sulfur smell,
Are worried: Donald Trump is late! He’s
Dearly missed down here in Hell.

Birthday-Having Happily

Happy, Birthday-Haver, happy!
Hope your natal day’s not crappy.
Age, you know, is just a number.
If it’s high, you may seek slumber.
When you wake, you’re that much older,
Though, so staying wakeful’s bolder
And resembles death much less.
Do we prefer you lifelike? Yes!
In summation, have a day
Delightful! Or at least okay.