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All works © Michael W. Collins. No works from this site may be reproduced without written permission from the author.
Category Archives: Lyrics
C-Dubs The Least-Loved Ranch Hand
There’s Carlson, Whit, Crooks, The Boss, George and Lennie. There’s Candy and Curly and Slim (’cause he’s skinny). But do you recall The most disrespected of all? C-Dubs, the least-loved ranch hand, Didn’t even have a name And everyone who … Continue reading
Posted in Lyrics, poetry
Tagged Curley's Wife, John Steinbeck, Lennie Small, misogyny, Of Mice and Men
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Quoth St. Stephen
My toenails are an unattractive Lot, a sad, objective fact of Which I’m all too well aware. It’s why my feet are rarely bare In places squeamish people lurk Like public markets, church and work. They’re not all bad–most folks … Continue reading
Posted in Lyrics, poetry
Tagged death by stoning, drugs, feet, Good King Wenceslas, holiday, martyr, St. Stephen, toenail
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A Dark Night
Batman Be the Batman When you have a choice (And, yes, you always have a choice) Always, always raise your voice And holler that man Be the Batman It’s a bad day to be Robin Be the man who does … Continue reading
Posted in Lyrics
Tagged Batman, darkness, R.I.P. Robin Williams, Robin, The Dark Knight
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The Tansy Verses: No. 9
Happy Birthday! 8 + 10 Plus 6 + 5 Plus 2 + 3 Makes 34! Is it a sin You’ve shown your Flowered shorts to me? I’ve placed a lot of Books on shelves In your apartment; Weirdly, none Address … Continue reading
Posted in Lyrics
Tagged birthday poem, Larry Shue, math, premarital sex, sin, Tansy McGinnis, The Holy Bible, The Nerd, Willum Cubbert
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Totally Fair Use
Felicitations on your natal day Felicitations on your natal day Nonny-nonny, Willie, nonny-hey Felicitations on your natal day
My Grandfather’s Joke
My grandfather’s clock was too big for the shelf So he sold it and bought a big shelf. He’s never on time for appointments. You wait Or give up and go fetch him yourself. If I drew you a graph … Continue reading
Posted in Lyrics, poetry
Tagged clocks, contractions, grandfathers, jokes, My Grandfather's Clock, snot
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