Somnanimal Control

Your classic insomniac counts leaping sheep
Because tallying mutton’s conducive to sleep,
But if math and anxiety go hand-in-glove
In your mind, you won’t find much assistance above.
Imagine instead that each sheep is a dog
And they’re leaping for sticks, and you’ll sleep like a log.

Matter Matters Less

Stones and sticks
(And Lego bricks
When trod unshod)
Can jar me,
But bones will heal.
It’s words of real
Unkindness
That’ll scar me.

Nikolaus Knows

I found a stick inside my shoe
This morning, which may be a sign
That present that I got for you
I shouldn’t then pretend is mine.

Good Wood

Stick-based foods are underrated
Tasty meals need not be plated
Shishkebab and skewered meats
Are highly satisfying eats
And for dessert a 50/50
Creamsicle is pretty nifty
Who needs fancy dining tricks?
Give me mac-n-cheese on sticks!

Peppermint Mayhem

Got the wrong end? Mightn’t matter.
Objects tend to break or shatter
Just as much when stoutly stricken
By the narrow or the thick end
Of your standard stick. Be strong,
Swing hard. You won’t go wrong.

Lockdown Diary: Day 429

Lowering the boom
Is not lowering the bar
Those are different sticks

Lockdown Diary: Day 96

When Push comes to shove
Offer Push a six-foot stick.
Let’s stay safe out there!

Stupid Tools

Sticks and stones may break my bones
Or build a hospital to fix ’em
Words can hurt or words can heal
It all depends on who inflicts ’em

40 Words of Wisdom

The day is done
But not the night
It isn’t yet
Too late to write
As my good friend
Nathaniel said:
“Don’t pull that stick
Above your head!”
That’s great advice
In dark or light
’Cause Better Nate
Than Lever, right?

Dogs With Sticks

Beware of hounds with pointed sticks
They’re dangerous
They’re dangerous
They’re capable of nasty tricks
Quite strange to us
Quite strange to us

Our own beloved Sydney pup
How sweet she is
How sweet she is
Picked up a stick and messed me up
Egregious
Egregious

Okay, it wasn’t all that bad
A scrape, a scratch
A scrape, a scratch
She turned her head: Like that, I had
A bleeding patch
A bleeding patch

The stick got caught between my knees
Like scissor blades
Like scissor blades
One running stride, I hollered, “Jeez!”
I need first aid
I need first aid

I’d told her, “Grab a smaller log.”
She wouldn’t heed
She wouldn’t heed
It’s hard to argue with that dog
A stubborn breed
A stubborn breed

Ironically, I broke the bough
Almost in half
Almost in half
That made it pointy, and that’s how
It stabbed my calf
It stabbed my calf

Next time she grabs a full-sized tree
I’ll stand my ground
I’ll stand my ground
She can’t pull pointed sticks on me!
Small twigs abound
Small twigs abound

I’d rather she snag toothpicks, or
Run empty-jawed
Run empty-jawed
Than Lassie-rate me anymore
Is that so odd?
Is that so odd?