The Pasta’s Prologue

I tried to buy a calendar
For planning every day,
But spellcheck made it colander;
My plans all drained away.

My hopes and dreams for ’24
Were shredded like confetti.
I don’t shop online anymore.
Instead, I make spaghetti.

Hellcheck Spelps

Technology is awesome, full
Of promise and delight!
No, wait, let’s rearrange those
Syllables, ’cause that’s not right.

Some technology is awful!
There’s a missing letter
Here and there, but that’s not wrong
So, what the EL, it’s better.

Dressing For Suicides

At work I used to eat a tire.(?!)
Sorry. Darned auricular.(!)
I mean auricular.(!!) Good fan it!(??)
Isn’t this what spellcheck’s for?

Spellcheck Is A Crotch

It’s insidious
How the very best writers
Make it look easy

#1 On My List

As winter’s days grow cool and crisp
Remember, send your Christmas lisp
To Santa so his spellcheck elves
Can laugh until they wet themselves!
You may not get the gift you wanted,
But at least some elves get taunted
Which is worth its weight in gold.
(Except for elves whose pants are cold.)