How To Avoid Performance Anxiety In Athletics

And It’s A Shallow Arc At Best

I like to compare my performances when
My more recent results eclipse those from “back then,”
But I’m learning that lapses don’t mean I’m a choker:
The arc of athletics bends towards mediocre.

Fabulous Advice

Slow and steady wins the race
If you’re a tortoise or a hare,
But otherwise, pick up the pace
Or even Aesop won’t be there
And they’ll have locked the place, which, fair.

Cool Runnings, Please

A hotter and hillier
Race may be thrillier;
I prefer chillier:
Sweatier’s sillier.

What Was The Middle Thing?

Looking forward to
Looking backward at the race
I’m about to do

Nothing To Win By

My horse has no nose!
How could he smell the roses
As the Derby champ?

Spectator

They staged a race today, and I
Stood back and watched them running by,
The fleet out front, the pack enmassed,
Determined walkers passing last
(If one discounts the shadow of
Regret I wasn’t named above,
Which flitted fitfully behind).

They raced, I watched. I didn’t mind.

Fabulous Hare Loss

The greatest (fake) upset in sport is
When that rabbit let the tortoise
Close a massive gap by choosing
Napping over work and losing
When they clearly could have won
By staying wakeful till they’d run
Across the finish line. The moral:
Sleep is good.
No notes.
No quarrel.

Longer Is Better

I like racing
Which is why
It’s lucky I’m
A poky guy
When you want
The race to last
It doesn’t pay
To go too fast

No Hare Up There

There’s a tortoise on my head
It’s wheezing and its breath smells funny
Don’t believe what Aesop said
It had to work to beat that bunny