1 = 1

If I had a dime
For each dime I have, then I’d
Have this many dimes

That’s A Ton Of Nickels!

What’s ten thousand dollars, by weight?
Well, take away nine twenty-eight,
Then 15 cents more.
Now, stack on the floor
The remainder, in nickels. Done? Great!

Nine thousand seventy-one
Eighty-five, all in nickels. What fun!
With five grams of mass
In each coin, it’s a gas
That their gross weight (on earth) is one ton!

The Frugal Undead

It’s inconvenient wearing hats
While changing back and forth from bats,
But all-night barbershops are rare.
So, where to go to cut your hair?
Unless you’re wealthy as a count
It costs a blood-from-stone amount
To hire ambulant coiffeurs
To come and care for hair like yours
(And most won’t want to make the trip
At night despite a hefty tip).
Is there a way to save some scratch
And still look sleek and stylish? Natch!
Self-inflicted haircuts: Thrifty
And, since you’ve no mirrors, nifty!
Screw it up? You’ll never know,
‘Cause even photographs won’t show
Your messy, tres-undeadly ‘do!
Think D.I.Y. for Y.O.U.!

Priorities

Counting on my fingers
‘Til my fingers start to bleed:
I’ve cash enough for things I want
But not for things I need.
If grocery bills, utilities
And rent are paid, I’m haunted:
Shelter, food and warmth? Good stuff,
Just not the stuff I wanted.

Superstitchion

Itchy right palm: Making money!
Itchy nose: A fool’s your honey
(Or an Irish quarrel’s pending
Since they say right palm means spending).
Elbows mean exciting news
Is coming (though you should refuse
The news a southpaw scratch portends
Because you’ll hate the way it ends),
But those of us for whom plant pollen
Causes rashes just go all in:
Let the gossips mong away
With news of wealth and bills to pay,
The thing we care about is how
To stop this blasted itching now!