It Helps That They Rarely Wear Masks

Puppies and kittens
Are cute, sweet, and fuzzy.
Just look at those noses!
We needn’t think twice
When we see their wee faces,
Nor wonder, “Gee, does he
Or she want to harm me?”
They don’t work for ICE!

Frosty

I made a snowman out of mud
And sticks and moss and dragon’s blood
Then covered o’er the frame with snow.
I couldn’t find a silk hat, though,
So topped it off with kitten skin
To soothe the demon trapped within
And give it that je ne sais quoi
As if the rabbit in its jaw
Were just what all the swells would wear
Whilst strolling out to take the air
Despite its constant, high-pitched screaming,
“Merry Christmas!” Was I dreaming?

Idiom Attic

For some it seems upsetting that
I keep a kitten in my hat,
As if I should deny what’s true
And keep it where the cat is, too,
But crowding kitty’d be a drag:
She’s only just escaped the bag
In which I used to keep her hid!
I let her out, is what I did,
And now our secret’s in my hair
(The little that remains up there)
And since she doesn’t read, it’s nice:
She eats the nits and thinks they’re mice.

I See The Mouse In Your Pocket, And Raise You…

I keep a kitten in my hat
She’s unbeknownst to all but me
I take a bit of grief for that
‘Cause no one likes my “royal we”

Tomato/Potato

Cats have kittens.
Squirrels, too!*
My dog would like
One each, to chew.

*Sometimes a squirrel kit’s a pup,
But mine still likes to chew them up.

Twenty-Seven Forty-Four

While that guy from St. Ives
Had a half dozen wives
More than might be allowed
In some cultures, that crowd
Wouldn’t bother me. Bigamy
Doesn’t much trigger me
If it’s consenting.
What I’d be resenting
And likely’d belabor
If he were my neighbor
Was how many pets
All his 49 gets
(Seven kids with each spouse)
Had hauled into his house.
Who wouldn’t be bitter
Inhaling the litter
From seven times seven
Times seven times seven
Plus three-forty-three
Total felines? Not me.
Do the math, people! That’s
Way. Too. Many. Cats.

Yeah, I Said It

Kittens don’t belong
On crowded freeways. They don’t
Respect passing lanes.

Meownetics

Neoneticists, rejoice!
Your kneady cats ain’t got no choice.
Check out this SciShow video:
It puts the “ow” in “Good to know.”

Venomous Kittens

Kittens: Adorable, fuzzy and sweet…
Until they decide that you’re something to eat.
They’ll climb up your chest, nudge your chin with their head,
Take a nip from your neck, and meowla, you’re dead.
It’s not that they’re mean, predatory or vicious,
They just lack control when they think you’re delicious.
They’ll grow to adulthood and soon lose their venom
(Well, most do; I’d swear that some still have it in ’em),
But juvenile felines will lay you to waste
In a heartbeat. It pays to have terrible taste.