No Known Predators

Banana slugs are wet sex gods,
Hermaphroditic gastropods
With eyes on stalks, one giant foot,
And penises that each will put
Inside their partner, slick with slime,
At ariolimaxy time.
Their radulae hide tiny teeth
They’ll fearlessly deploy beneath
In mutual apophallation
Subsequent to copulation
Should, through happenstance or luck,
A phallus (one or both) get stuck.
Add to that numb tongues from licking,
One might think they’d soon quit sticking
With such fraught relationships,
And yet… Banana slugs are trips.

Assuming Standard Gravity

Slugs have feet
But slug has foot,
Around which sometimes
Fringe is put.
They’re mostly mantle,
Tail, and slime,
Plus tentacles,
And what’s sublime
Is, when you slice
A slug you’ve found,
1/32^nd weighs a pound!
For which fact we’ve
Bored Brits to thank.
The things we learn
When weather’s dank!