Tag Archives: turtles

Chaperone

Turtle mamas don’t do nurture. One’ll scoop a hole and perch her Bottom on the edge and squirt Her babies in. They don’t get hurt Because their eggs are squishy and They’re falling into softish sand, But Mama wouldn’t know … Continue reading

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Lonely Chelonii

It’s tough to tell when turtles cry. (They’re often underwater’s why.)

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Shellfish Bastards

The carapace upon its back Protects the turtle from attack. Its armored underbelly, too, Inoculates it from the flu. That greenish, scaly skin it wears? Anathema to grizzly bears. The turtle’s tiny, pointy tail Is where it stores its draft … Continue reading

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Turtles And Tortoises

Turtles and tortoises Everyone thinks They’re the same But they’re not One swims And one sinks

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Chirrup-chirrup

Turtles never cheer Even if they’re overjoyed Crickets get bad raps

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Videos May Be Edited For Time

Do you have a funny turtle? Our producers want to know. All videos where none are hurt’ll Be considered for our show! Just film your turtle telling jokes Or dressing up as Kanye West And interrupting trophy folks And if … Continue reading

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It Ain’t Me, Babe

The turtle on the telephone Keeps calling. Won’t leave me alone. He doesn’t speak–I think it’s he; The voice I don’t hear’s deep for she— But when I scream, “Who is this? WHO?!?” He does that thing that turtles do … Continue reading

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