The Sudden Rodent Hoedown

I’m not a fan of rodents
So I don’t invite them in.
I’ve never felt what Michael Jackson
Sang about in Ben.
They’re wingless sewer pigeons
With big teeth and hairless tails,
And when I see one in my kitchen
I dissolve in girly wails.


Little Bunny Poo-poo

Silly bunny on my lawn,
You squat. I wish you’d not. Begone!
You lift that little tuft of cotton
On your bottom, and the rotten
Pellets underneath fall out
Upon the grass that months of drought
Have worn into a state precarious.
I think saying “poop’s” hilarious;
Seeing it destroy my grass
Is less delightful. Move your ass,
I beg, to some locality
Resistant to fecality.
You’re welcome anytime to graze
Or even piddle, but I’ll raise
A strong objection if you poo.
Verstehen Sie? Please say you do–
Or, rather, won’t doo anymore.
That’s what my neighbor’s dogs are for.