I’m not a fan of rodents
So I don’t invite them in.
I’ve never felt what Michael Jackson
Sang about in Ben.
They’re wingless sewer pigeons
With big teeth and hairless tails,
And when I see one in my kitchen
I dissolve in girly wails.
Rodents are adorable
In abstract. Fact?
Canines protect us
From squirrels and cats.
Felines stop rodents;
Mosquitoes, meet bats.
We’re counting on rabbits
To save us from carrots.
But what about crackers?
We’ll always have parrots.
Guinea pigs, gerbils,
Mice, hamsters and rats
Good pets for people
Fantastic for cats
Rodents 0, Poems 2
Piping works, but words do, too!
A better mousetrap? Maybe not,
But vermin flee from what I’ve got.
Although my outfit isn’t pied,
The rodents left and no one died.
I’m quickly calling that a win
Before they all come back again.
Silly bunny on my lawn,
You squat. I wish you’d not. Begone!
You lift that little tuft of cotton
On your bottom, and the rotten
Pellets underneath fall out
Upon the grass that months of drought
Have worn into a state precarious.
I think saying “poop’s” hilarious;
Seeing it destroy my grass
Is less delightful. Move your ass,
I beg, to some locality
Resistant to fecality.
You’re welcome anytime to graze
Or even piddle, but I’ll raise
A strong objection if you poo.
Verstehen Sie? Please say you do–
Or, rather, won’t doo anymore.
That’s what my neighbor’s dogs are for.
Fuzzy, friendly creatures waiting
Just inside my darkened door
On cold, wet nights sounds nice…I’m baiting
Traps: No mice here anymore.