My president is nothing like the sun:
He’s far from bright, though shadows does he cast;
If truth is beauty, he’s an ugly one;
If beards be lies, he wears out razors fast.
I have seen some whom I with pride called chief,
But all the Sins he’s so monopolized
That one who would offend must be a thief;
If there be Pride to spare, I’d be surprised.
I need not read his tweets, for well I know
That talking heads will tell me what I’ve missed;
I grant I’ve never seen a tyrant go
Without a push; ergo, I shall resist.
I don’t despair for where my country went;
I know it’s there, behind my president.
I don’t run for fame or pride.
I don’t. In fact, I stay inside
And watch real racers on TV.
That’s exercise enough for me.
If Pride is going this year, then
It’d best get gone! Tomorrow’s when
The northern Summer turns to Fall.
Not nagging, just reminding’s all.
Now’s the time and here’s the place:
This cookie’s going in this face;
This milk will wash it down this throat;
These crumbs will unbecome this coat;
This gut will belch this noxious cloud.
Complete the feat. Repeat. Not proud.
Today’s the day I’d set aside
For doing things that give me pride–
Not hubris pride that tweaks the gods,
But tiny triumphs over odds
Like 6-to-5 against, and such.
A little pride, but not too much.
So, when I woke and saw the wet
I couldn’t help but feel regret
That all those itsy bits of good
I’d planned to work this weekend would
Perforce be subject to delay.
I’m not a fan of rain, okay?
Perhaps next week I’ll try again.
For now, Small Obstacles, you win.
There once was a man
From Nantucket who had much
Of which to be proud
And…time! That’s it, I’m off the clock!
For those who know me, here’s a shock:
Not once, but twice, I failed to fail
At rearing kids! The first one, male,
Has been at large in grown-up land
For three full years on Thursday, and
The second one, a former girl,
Today gave womanhood a whirl!
That’s right: Two children sprang from me
And made it to majority!
Should they dispute how well I did,
Their scars are few and mostly hid
So there’s no proof, which, after all, is
Key, so take cum grano salis
Any tales that they may spin.
Insist on details: Where? And when?
Can anyone corroborate
Their stories? No? Then, I did great!
(N.B.: My wife might like some credit;
Check back for a later edit.)
Static Population Task:
Complete. Need more adults? Don’t ask
At my house, ’cause I’ve done my bit,
And not too badly, I’ll admit.
They’re mostly happy, fairly clean,
Not obviously rude or mean,
Both (borderline) artistic and
Creative, just the way we planned
When, years ago, my wife and I
Designed our baby girl and guy.
Applause? For me? If you insist.
Now, check that off my Bucket List:
“Raise kids.” Ta-daa! Now, moving on:
“Adjust to life with children gone….”