When critics carped that W.
Was worst, I’d ask them, “Surely, you
Recall the horrors Tricky Dick
Inflicted on us?” In the thick
Of Donald Trump’s dominion, though,
I can’t dispute we’ve reached a low
Congrats, DT: You broke the floor!
The depths you’ve plumbed make Nixon’s bummers
Almost quaint…and he had plumbers!
Nixon showed a sense of shame;
I doubt The Donald feels the same.
Chagrin afflicts the self-aware.
For Trump, there’s simply no “there” there,
Like California, per Ms. Stein.
Your views may vary; this one’s mine.
Happy birthday, Honest Abe!
I hope you don’t get sick from spinning
Dizzily inside your grave.
Up here, we’re merely sick of winning.
Apparently it’s now okay
To say shithole in public. Yay!
The president must also feel
It’s fine to use the word shitheel,
Which I’ve resisted heretofore
To utter in re him. No more!
A week into the brand new year
I don’t yet know what I should fear
The most: That things don’t live up to
What I expect, or that they do.
The way the first week greeted us
Was fiery and furious,
And that’s okay, but 51
More weeks like that might be less fun.
Will we survive the entropy
To which all systems tend? We’ll see.
One thing’s for sure: When 45’s
The guy in charge, then chaos thrives.
I’m flat broke, and still the facts is
I would rather pay more taxes
Than see Congress prime the pump
For oligarchs like Donald Trump
While Puerto (No) Rico gets slapped
With import tariffs?! PR’s trapped
Between their rock and Trump’s hard heart.
Disaster funds would be a start
But (gasp) increase the deficit?
Okay, it might, a little bit–
By roughly 80 billion–
But 1.41 trillion
Just got tacked on, so who gets screwed?
No se puede hacer, there, dude.
The ‘Merica we’re making great’s
The one called the United States,
So, if the North Koreans bomb
CNMI, Samoa, Guam,
Or (hypothetically) a squall
Assaults USVI, then all
The G.O.P. says we can spare
Is partial thoughts and one shared prayer
‘Cause we’ve got so much on our plate.
But look! We cut the corporate rate!
I’m more popular than those
Aligned against me might suppose
A fact that they’d’ve surely seen
If everybody weren’t so mean
“Christmas spirit” proves elusive
When your leadership’s abusive
And a national disgrace,
But paste a smile on your face
And do your part to heal the rift
‘Twixt Us and Them. Make that your gift
To everyone, yourself included.
Don’t forget, your pain is rooted
In your love for what could be
And what will be again. You’ll see.
Okay, the president’s an ass.
Said Solomon, This, too, shall pass.
The U.S.A. is not yet wrecked
So let its holly halls be decked
With “Happy Holidays” in lights!
(And then read Donald Trump his rights.)