Tag Archives: flatulence

Cognitive Flatulence

Don’t you hate when someone asks You something that you know by heart And then that simplest of tasks– Just spit it out–becomes Brain Fart! A long-time colleague, in a meeting, Needs an intro to a guest, And though you … Continue reading

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Hai-Couth: Dinner Party

Pleased to meet you, ma’am. Thank you for inviting me. I’ll try not to fart.

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Date And Switch

A goldfish by his girlfish dumped Might feel before his friends enchumped Had he shown off his cumberedness Too zestfully. Now cumbered less And clearly bachelorified If he’d, of late, too glorified His dancing of the pas de deux With … Continue reading

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Unicornucopier

Unicorns, though cute, don’t type Or file. Don’t believe the hype: Though unicorns are passing rare Most folks with work to do won’t care About its rainbow-tinted flatus ‘Less it helps their filing status; Spiral horns and braided tails Are … Continue reading

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We Don’t Even Have A Dog

I’m just humming in the kitchen When I hear ’em bust a stitch in Where the carol stench is strong. How my family loves a song!

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About Those Bears…

A bumblebee Flew in my mouth I swallowed it It traveled south Right past my tummy Through my gut Around and down And out my butt And ever since– This may sound funny– When I fart It smells like honey

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Stupid Cricket

My conscience has an inside voice But using it’s its second choice– If flatulence can count as speech Then even second’s out of reach; It drops to third. The sequence goes, First, Outside Voice, so no one knows Who doesn’t … Continue reading

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