I don’t camp with dryer lint;
My ears aren’t filled with candle wax;
I can’t make sparks with steel and flint
Or two abrasive sticks. The facts
Are these: If fire’s what you need
And I’m the one you’re looking to
You’d best have brought a coat. Indeed,
You’ll likely want a blanket, too,
And meals that don’t require cooking.
Firestarter? Me? Keep looking.