Add A Monkey

Boring meeting?
Listless mime?
Add a monkey.
Party time!

Take your day
From foul to funky–
Ask me how!
(Hint: Add a monkey.)

Pleased to meet you, sir.
What cheer?

Hip-hip-hooray!
The monkey’s here!

Added monkey’s
Not redeeming?
Sir, wake up!
You must be dreaming!

“Like a barrel…”
(Not worth writing)
“…full of monkeys.”
(That’s exciting!)

Lack of monkeys
Makes you sick.
Maxed-out monkeys–
That’s the trick!

Cat made coffee
Cold and chunky?
Needs a mentor:
Add a monkey!

Add a monkey.
Bottom line:
Add a monkey.
You’ll be fine.

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Don’t Get Excited

Jumping up and down–okay,
The down is coming anyway,
So jumping up–well, more like standing
Rapidly, and then not landing
Right away–we’ll call it “jumping”
Just for drill–my heart is thumping
Thinking of the work involved,
So I’ll stay seated. Problem solved.

Countdown (2003)

“Good morning, Siri. How’d you sleep?”
She answered, “Three more days!”

“Be careful, Sydney’s wet,” I said.
She added, “…plus today.”

“Have you had breakfast?” I inquired.
“Three plus four is seven!”

“Is Iain still asleep upstairs?”
“This week he’s still eleven.”

“What’s on your mind this morning, babe?”
“I’m turning nine on Thursday!”

“Is that a spider on your head?”
“Three days until my birthday!”

“I have to take my shower now.”
“Three days, and then a wake-up!”

“I think the cat coughed up a cow.”
“Then–hic!–my birth–hic!–day–cup!”

“Perhaps on Friday we can chat?”
(“…my birthday mirthday firthday!”)

“I get the strong impression that–”
“I CAN’T WAIT ’TIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!”