Lap To Let

If I had a dog
I might have to move the cat
If I had a cat


Running Dog

A “running dog” can be construed
As epithetical and rude
By those who’ve studied Poly Sci
Or Rhetoric; please know that I
Am being literal, in fact.
No hidden codes here need be cracked.

Nor am I referring to
The fun-size sort of pet that you
Might carry in a fanny pack
Or by a handle on its back
But rather one who’d rather run
Beside you, and who finds it fun.

Explicitly, I mean a dog
Who finds more pleasure in a jog
To anywhere and back again
Than chowing down or sleeping in.
Through evening gloom or morning dew,
A running dog just runs with you.

That’s what I mean by the phrase.
I miss my running dog, these days.

Hypothetical Help Wanted

I need someone to walk my dog.
She’s cranky if she doesn’t jog
And has to hold her number two
But what’s a working man to do?
She isn’t real, but if she were,
My boss would still say No! to her.
Imaginary dogs don’t get
Enough respect. At least, not yet.