Why I Like My Grown-Up Sippy Cup

Coffee in an open cup
Cools quickly; dilatory craving
Can’t keep pace, so it’s a race
To taste the trace that’s still worth saving.

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Gaslight

The panda at the potter’s wheel
With cakes and pastry…isn’t real.
The candles dancing on my bed
Do not gavotte but in my head.
If cacti owned a coffee bar
It wouldn’t be where those three are
(There’s no foot traffic by the tub).
I don’t gaslight that easy, bub,
So pack your fever dreams and go!
(Feel free to leave the pastry, though.)

Add A Monkey

Boring meeting?
Listless mime?
Add a monkey.
Party time!

Take your day
From foul to funky–
Ask me how!
(Hint: Add a monkey.)

Pleased to meet you, sir.
What cheer?

Hip-hip-hooray!
The monkey’s here!

Added monkey’s
Not redeeming?
Sir, wake up!
You must be dreaming!

“Like a barrel…”
(Not worth writing)
“…full of monkeys.”
(That’s exciting!)

Lack of monkeys
Makes you sick.
Maxed-out monkeys–
That’s the trick!

Cat made coffee
Cold and chunky?
Needs a mentor:
Add a monkey!

Add a monkey.
Bottom line:
Add a monkey.
You’ll be fine.

Waste Of Fur

My cat’s a total waste of fur.
So why do I put up with her?
She tried to make me coffee, but
She couldn’t keep the grinder shut
And now there’s heaps of coffee grounds
All over! I know how that sounds,
As if I’m mad she made a mess.
If that were all, I’d be much less
Annoyed, but wait, there’s more! The loser
Couldn’t figure how to use her
Trumplike paws to push the pin
To force the French press filter in,
So when she brings the mug upstairs
There’s coffee chunks among the hairs
And teardrops in my morning brew!
At least it’s something I can chew,
Unlike this omelette. What a waste
Of fur this cat is! I’m disgraced.