Black Tie Optional

The portly fellow in the hall
Is avian, not man at all;
The couple on the plastic chairs
Beside the pool are grizzly bears.
The “people” in the parlor? Fakes.
Check out their scaly skin. They’re snakes!
You wouldn’t have to toss a lot
Of nuts to nail an ocelot
Or lemur in the small salon.
I don’t know quite what’s going on
Or why these nonanthropic folk
Are in my home. If it’s a joke
It seems impractical at best.
Perhaps some kind of social test
Assessing my abilities
To place a motley crowd at ease?
I’m failing that exam, if so:
There’s no one here I’d care to know
More intimately. When they leave
I’ll not be taking time to grieve.
Instead, I plan to just erase
All memory of every face.
No, wait, there’s one I’d like to meet:
That woman with the fin-like feet
And long, blonde hair. It’s hard to tell,
I think her breast may be a shell?
At any rate, she has the look
Of someone who enjoys a book
Or music on a quiet day.
Perhaps I’ll ask if she can stay.


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