Tag: food

Good Wood

Stick-based foods are underrated
Tasty meals need not be plated
Shishkebab and skewered meats
Are highly satisfying eats
And for dessert a 50/50
Creamsicle is pretty nifty
Who needs fancy dining tricks?
Give me mac-n-cheese on sticks!

Wait For It

Good things come to those who wait.*

*Unless you’re hungry and it’s late
With nothing in the fridge to cook
Although you’ve gone four times to look,
As if the baking soda box
Has been concealing cheese in blocks
You bought but which fell through the cracks
And they in turn have hidden stacks
Of fresh tortillas, indicating
Quesadilla Time! No waiting!
But that, of course, is not the case.
The only way to feed your face
Is out there in the world, but
Without a car you don’t know what
Your options are, except to phone
A friend you know is home alone
Because he’s unemployed and broke
But had a car last time you spoke
And might be down to pick you up
And drive you to a place to sup
If you in turn pick up the check.
You call, he answers, “What the heck,
If you can fill the gas tank, too.”
The station that he takes you through
Won’t take your debit card, and so
You pay in cash, and then you go
To see if your old roommate’s on
The grill tonight at Casa Juan,
The Sinaloan Fusion spot
You haven’t been to yet–too hot
For walk-ins–but your roommate swore
He’d always fit you in. What’s more,
That time you paid his share of rent
For two months while his paychecks went
To dental bills means there’s a debt
You haven’t had to call in yet,
So even if they’re booked (they are)
He’ll have you seated at the bar
And tell the bartender you’re cool,
So even though it breaks the rule
She won’t give you the stinkeye when you
Order off the entrée menu.
Later, sated, you relate
The tale of how your old roommate
Had such poor dental hygiene that
His halitosis scared the cat.
The bartender, who’s listened in,
Says, “That’s how come the nickname, then,”
And chuckles as she moves away
To serve another patron. “Hey,”
The friend who drove you sips his drink
And asks, “What nickname?” No, you think,
That anecdote was plenty rude;
Don’t further diss the dude whose food
Just fed you, so you shake your head
And signal for the check instead,
Saying, “That was really great!”

Good thing Scumtooth owes who ate.

How To Eat A Mammoth

Challenges and goals are great
Until they overflow your plate
Like drips and crumbs from greasy snacks
And aspirations stain your slacks.
If your time management is poor
You, too, might choose a metaphor
As unsustainable as this’n.
Do yourself a favor, listen:
Choose one entrée, carve it to
Small forkfuls you can safely chew,
And masticate each carefully
Before you swallow. You’ll agree
It aids the taste, and your dessert’s
Accomplishment! (And cleaner shirts.)

Comfort Food

Vegetables are good for you,
But can they snugglenudge you through
When you’re unhappy? Will they nap
With half their body on your lap
On crappy days? Are they so cute
You have to laugh?
No.
Go with fruit.