If you think you need a gun
For self-defense, or just for fun,
That’s fine. But, just as with a car,
You have to prove you’re who you are,
And get some training, pass a test,
And purchase some insurance, lest
Somebody, by mistake, is harmed
Who wouldn’t have been if you weren’t armed.
And every couple years or so
You’ll have to prove that you still know
The rules: How best to store your rods
So kids aren’t rushed to meet their gods
By playing with the guns they find
Around the house. And if you’re blind,
You shouldn’t shoot; and if you drink
And get behind the trigger, think
You’ll get to keep your license? No!
Be smart, you won’t be bothered, though.
If all that sounds too onerous,
Don’t buy a gun! That’s fine with us
(By which I mean myself), ’cause, hey,
You don’t deserve one, anyway.
P.S. With autos, there’s a rule:
You shouldn’t drive inside a school
No matter how well-qualified;
Like guns, they don’t belong inside.